“If a goal is worth having, it’s worth blocking out time in your day-to-day life necessary to achieve it.” Jill Koenig, Top Goals Coach
I love setting goals, and starting goals, but lately when it comes to finishing a goal, I’m a wimp. For example, I can’t even finish one book. Not one! Blame weak eyes or my weird, sneezy reaction to a book’s pages; reading a book is no longer enjoyable. So for me, finishing one is out of the question.
But I can listen. Thanks, Audible.
This week on my walks I’m listening to one of my newest, favorite books; FINISH, Give Yourself the Gift of Done, by Jon Acuff.
I’m walking along, so engrossed in his stories, I’m not even noticing that the weather’s changed and I’ve got a snowy sleet-stuff hitting me in the face. Why? I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling that Acuff was talking directly to me. (As if I’m the only one in the world with the problem of finishing goals, right?)
But Acuff is using words and emotions I’m very familiar with, like perfectionism, failure, and self-sabotage. And I’m realizing how much time I'm wasting on things that look like they are related to my goals, but are in fact steering me away from the real focus of my goals. I'm not taking bad things; I'm talking things that can wait or even be eliminated from my life until a goal is met. For example, most email can wait, as well as the latest news stories or social media. And I know I’m not the only one who uses household chores as an excuse to avoid working on a goal. I also know some things can't wait — like one’s own health, children, or job responsibilities. Those things demand our immediate attention, and rightly so.
But across the history of civilization, its our goals that move us forward.
Or backward.
Like potato chips.
Have you ever tried to use a little reward to help you meet your goals? Have they ever backfired? I have. Take health, for example.
Just recently it’s become apparent that I need to eliminate high sodium foods from my diet. So what’s the first thing I crave? That opened bag of potato chips my husband left in the pantry. It seems like just thinking about depriving myself of salt has triggered some weird switch in my head that says I must have those salty chips. So when it comes to food, I may need a different kind of reward.
Goal rewards are based on fun or fear.
A reward based on fear is like this: I don’t want to get heart disease (a fear), so I will get 30 minutes of exercise five times a week (a goal). Rewards based on fear do work.
I cut gluten out of my diet because of fear. I feared I would continue to live miserably with hives, welts, and painful inflammation. You can read about it in the link below.
But a much more enjoyable reward is one based on fun. Fun can mean different things to different people. To me, fun means something that brings joy, and since I’m writing this in December, the one thing that brings me joy are the festive holiday lights.
So on this dark, gloomy winter day, my goal is to write 500 words before I can turn on three sets of Christmas lights in my home. But instantly, I’m defeated. Five hundred words?
Suddenly, that sounds like a LOT of words to write. I’m reminded of how often I’ve failed before—like with the potato chips.
It's called self-sabotaging, and I do it so much I fail to even recognize it. But that's just another way we keep ourselves from finishing goals. Like instantly thinking your goal isn’t attainable.
So…CHANGE IT, change the goal. Cut it in half, or more if you need to, make it attainable! For me, that means I’ll chop my goal down to 50 words, then light up one set of lights…write 50 more, turn on more lights, etc.
Sounds trivial? Hear me out.
I’ve now typed over way my goal of 50 words
What’s that you say? It’s not anything special, just another blog post? Now you're getting personal. Not for me, but for you. Because when you set your own goals and rewards, they don’t have to be earth-shattering or life-changing.
They’re YOUR goals: YOU make the rules.
So what’s your goal and reward for today? You choose.
Then cut it in half.
NOW you’re ready to go for it!
And to prove it’s possible, here are my 500 800 words!
Excuse me while I go enjoy my pretty lights…