All it takes for most of us is just one more thing and we’re overwhelmed. We’ve tried to create a less complicated life but we’re still stressed. Me, too. So I researched and found the twelve best ways to remove stress from your life. First, simplify…

A Simple Life is a Peaceful Life

Simplifying helped me create a more peaceful life. When I was teaching, I worked long hours, ate poorly, and had developed a toxic life.I was full of anxiety, had depression, sleeplessness, headaches and joint pain. There was no room for joy. I needed healthy habits to replace the toxic ones, so I did yoga, learned meditation, and increased my walking and journaling. I retired early. I decluttered my home and donated hundreds of items to charity. I saw a therapist for my anxiety. I ate more vegetables and gave up gluten to reduce my headaches and joint pain. I saw a doctor about sleep apnea and got a machine to help me breathe and sleep better. I followed the serenity prayer~ I let go.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For me, stress created illness. Illness is the body’s way of telling us to slow down, forgive, or even let go and move on. Here are more steps to help you de-stress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twelve Step to Reduce Stress in Your Mind and Your Home:

1. Make your health a priority. Is there a doctor’s appointment or test you need? Schedule it.
2. Cancel an Activity. Find one thing on your calendar you can do without. Cross it out.
3. Start Your Day With Rituals: Keep routines that keep you organized, or in control. Create new ones that are calming. For me, taking my dog out every morning, then returning for my morning coffee are comforting routines.
4. Pick Your Battles: Families grow and change. Some stages are more stressful. You’ve set priorities but it’s still not working? Sometimes that change must start with us.
5. Reduce: It’s well known that reducing clutter in your home reduces stress. Less stuff=Less to clean.
6. Schedule Self-Calming Time: Whether it’s meditation with the Bible, a quiet walk, a cup of tea, or a soak in the tub, take time for what calms you. Remember how, before take-off, the stewardess tells parents to put their oxygen masks on first, then the child’s? Well, self-calming time is your oxygen mask. Take a breath, relax.
7. Watch Less: Reduce time spent looking at a screen, especially before bed. Use sound instead of visuals to help you fall asleep. A sound machine, audio book or sleep podcast is a healthier choice.
8. Follow Less: Unfollow pages or people on social media if their posts give you stress, or just don’t give you joy. You can unfollow people and still stay “friends.”
9. Do Less: Make use of time savers offered by stores and sites. Use curb side pick up for groceries and medications; find meal planning calendars online.
10. Spend less: If money is your greatest stress, go on a buying freeze, buy only necessities. Check out apps that help you pay down your credit card debt, like Tally, Debt Free, or Credit Card Payoff.
11. Don’t ignore the big problems. Maybe you’re considering a big lifestyle change to reduce stress, like leaving a relationship, job or neighborhood. Seek a trusted friend or two to be your sounding board. True friends want to help, don’t be afraid to ask. Take steps to talk to a professional, too.
12. Focus on what you can change. Accept that there are things out of your control, and let them go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conclusion

If you’re stressed, it’s not your fault. You may need someone to talk to, to help you get through this hard time. Remember, that’s what it is: A hard time. A time that will pass. I didn’t give up hope and I don’t want you to, either. You ARE worth it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Ways to Support

If this has helped you, please share it with a friend. Also, consider a one-time donation of $5 to “Buy me a Coffee.” Just click on the yellow banner on the right that says, “Buy Me A Coffee.” (scroll down if you’re on a cell phone) You’ll get a personalized Thank You from me!

Well this is unexpected. I’m going to Atlanta for the first ever conference for Women Podcasters. SHE PODCASTS LIVE, 2019!

Can I get an Amen? A hallelujah ?

That’s okay, I get it. Big whoop. But in all honesty, for me, it really IS big whoop. I only DREAMED of going. I bought 2 tickets thinking I could go with a friend. Now, my friends are totally awesome and would do almost anything for me, but I just couldn’t ask. They have full, busy lives themselves, and no one was into podcasting or anything tech related, so I gave up on the idea of going. Which is ironic because my motto is, “Keep looking up and never give up.” Before I had health issues I would have gone solo and had a great time, but not anymore.

Meanwhile, my hubby got some time off so we could visit the grandkids. Visit the grands? Turns out they’re already quite busy being awesome teenagers, “So maybe you and Dad could come another time?” said my darling daughter. So that’s out.

There’s only one thing left to do: my hubby turns and asks me if I would want to go to “that women’s podcast conference thing”……. Well, YEAH!

So things have been flying around here, Airline tickets, Hotel reservations, packing, cleaning the house. Okay, maybe not so much that last one…

I’m hoping this conference will get me back on track with my podcasts again. I have several “in the can” but have lost the confidence (yes, I’ll admit it) and the focus to finish their production. Fingers crossed this conference will be the laxative to get things moving again. Because I really want my life back. I love the researching, recording, editing, and learning new things. It gets my heart racing.

And that brings us to the reason why I won’t travel alone. My health. Or lack thereof. Lately I’ve become an armchair expert in pain management, physical therapy, micronutrients and nature walks, and all the effects of hEDS. All just to make it through each day. I have a condition called hypermobile elhers danlos syndrome, or hEDS for short. It’s a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects the joints, blood vessels and organs, skin, eyes, teeth, pretty much the whole body tries to fall apart. My son lovingly refers to me as, “A hot mess.” Gee, thanks, child of my loins. I joke, but it’s a pretty painful condition. (You can see cute memes about living with hEDS from A-Z at My Stripy Life.)

I can’t believe we’re taking this trip. My happily hot mess self and my dazed “What have I done?” husband. So if you happen to be in Atlanta at the She Podcast Live Conference and you see an older man looking like he lost his wife to technology (again), just show him to the nearest coffee shop or sports bar and he’ll happily chill.

And me? I only hope I have enough time and energy to get to all the amazing sessions! If I do I’ll be falling apart with joy!

Today in episode 9 we’ll bust the three myths of meditation and I’ll share my three favorite types. I also reveal what kind of meditation is the very best for your health. Plus, stick around because there is a bonus for you at the end!

00:01:10 Can you think of one person that has such a deep peace in their spirit that you feel calmer just by being around them? Finding that level of peace is something I’ve been working on lately. I’ve always thought one of the best things we can do for our friends and family during a time of stress is to have our own reservoir of inner calm, ready to share with others. If you’ve been interested in meditation but you have some questions, then its time to find out what’s keeping you from having this peace in your life. 

00:02:35 Myth #1 It’s not going to work for me. There are many types of meditation out there; it’s important to find one that syncs with you and your background. The best meditation is the one that you want to come back to, day after day. Just remember: Don’t Give Up. Everyone’s mind wanders during meditation, but if you bring your focus back to your breathing and keep moving on, you’ll see the results over time. 

00:03:53 Myth #2 There’s no time; there’s no place. Meditation isn’t defined by a place, a pose or a practice. It can be as simple as just focusing on having a steady, slow breath for a few moments in the middle of a hectic day. There are many ways to gain this peace and calmness in your life, but my favorites have always been these three: walking meditation, controlled breathing and scripture meditation. If you would be interested in finding out more about my podcast on scripture meditation, you can go to restingintheword.org.

00:08:17 My other podcast is a guided scripture meditation to aid in sleep. You can find it at restingintheword.org

00:08:43 Myth #3 You can’t prove it works. Yes, scientific studies have proven that meditation does work to reduce anxiety and depression, heart disease, diabetes, improve sleep and your immune system. Want the facts? Here’s the scientific research you need!

• Meditation and Depression (study from Harvard)
• Study on Controlled Breathing
• Meditation and Cardiovascular Risk Reduction
• Meditation and Blood Pressure
• Increase Focus and Attention 
• Meditation and Better Sleep
• Meditation and Auto-Immune Disorders
• Meditation and Diabetes
• Meditation Alters Networks in the Brain and Improves Emotional and Physical Well Being

Positively Life After Fifty had a tiny victory today and I just had to write about it to celebrate! This is the site I built in the summer of 2013 when I began a podcast with the same name. I thought it would be easy; buy the website name, build the site, and get started podcasting. Boom. Done.

(Pssst…scroll down to jump ahead to the tiny victory.)

But then life hit. Boom. Hard. I went back to work teaching…a very stressful year.
Then I got sick, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, really stressed. Yet my students all needed my help, as did my own family. Not many victories, but hugs from the kids sure helped.  

My job took a turn again for the worse. I loved the kids, but the pressure, along with the insomnia, was crushing my spirit. I began to rethink what was most important in life, and put in for early retirement.

Acknowledge all of your small victories. They will eventually add up to something great. 

Kara Goucher

Meanwhile my podcast equipment was STILL gathering dust in the corner of the living room, and my website was in a sad state of atrophy. 2013 turned into ’14, ’15 and even ’16. I began to think my dream was going to sadly fade away like Christmas poinsettias in January.

Maybe when I retire, I thought, I can revive this dream of having a thriving website and podcast. Or… maybe I should just let it go. I seriously thought about giving up, I didn’t think it mattered to anyone. But I couldn’t.

Have you ever had a hard time letting go of your dreams? That’s surely normal. After all, we’ve nurtured some dreams for a lifetime and invested in them with our hopes and plans. They’re like our children. No? Okay, well, at least they’re like our favorite pets. We don’t want to give up, but life happens and before you know it:  Boom. Done. No more dream. I was close to giving up. After retirement, I was too busy to focus on the website, write or produce a podcast. But I now realize that just as many tiny victories adds up to something great, so can many small coincidences lead us back to the path to those lost dreams. Small coincidences like a comment a friend made, that got you believing in yourself again. Or finally reading that book you’ve been putting off for so long, (for me it was FINISH by Jon Acuff. Wow!) Or even getting enough sleep, so you have a brain that actually works again. Small, unrelated coincidences have a way of helping us get back on the right path, the path that leads to revived dreams.

 Small, unrelated coincidences have a way of helping us get back on the right path, the path that leads to revived dreams.

Positively Life After Fifty

So what’s my tiny victory today? It’s that little lock in the browser bar at the top of your screen. Seems like a small victory, but not for me.

You see, as I’m rebuilding this old website, one problem has eluded me. Security. No more! TODAY, with the help of an online tech guy who replaced some missing code, I FINALLY got my “lock” along with the “s” in the “https://” in my web address! You can now visit my site without getting that scary message, “This website is not secure!”

And best of all? YOU are now safe to sign up for my newsletter and get updates and all the great freebies that I will be making in the future. (Your name and email address will be safe, never shared.) You can sign up right now, on this page. I look forward to hearing from you!

Here’s hoping you can celebrate a tiny victory, or two, of your own this week and move one step closer to your dreams!

“If a goal is worth having, it’s worth blocking out time in your day-to-day life necessary to achieve it.” Jill Koenig, Top Goals Coach

I love setting goals, and starting goals, but lately when it comes to finishing a goal, I’m a wimp. For example, I can’t even finish one book. Not one! Blame weak eyes or my weird, sneezy reaction to a book’s pages; reading a book is no longer enjoyable. So for me, finishing one is out of the question.

But I can listen. Thanks, Audible.

This week on my walks I’m listening to one of my newest, favorite books; FINISH, Give Yourself the Gift of Done, by Jon Acuff.

I’m walking along, so engrossed in his stories, I’m not even noticing that the weather’s changed and I’ve got a snowy sleet-stuff hitting me in the face. Why? I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling that Acuff was talking directly to me. (As if I’m the only one in the world with the problem of finishing goals, right?)

But Acuff is using words and emotions I’m very familiar with, like perfectionism, failure, and self-sabotage.  And I’m realizing how much time I’m wasting on things that look like they are related to my goals, but are in fact steering me away from the real focus of my goals. I’m not taking bad things; I’m talking things that can wait or even be eliminated from my life until a goal is met. For example, most email can wait, as well as the latest news stories or social media. And I know I’m not the only one who uses household chores as an excuse to avoid working on a goal. I also know some things can’t wait — like one’s own health, children, or job responsibilities. Those things demand our immediate attention, and rightly so.

But across the history of civilization, its our goals that move us forward.

Or backward.

Like potato chips.

Have you ever tried to use a little reward to help you meet your goals? Have they ever backfired? I have. Take health, for example.

Just recently it’s become apparent that I need to eliminate high sodium foods from my diet. So what’s the first thing I crave? That opened bag of potato chips my husband left in the pantry. It seems like just thinking about depriving myself of salt has triggered some weird switch in my head that says I must have those salty chips. So when it comes to food, I may need a different kind of reward.

Goal rewards are based on fun or fear.

A reward based on fear is like this: I don’t want to get heart disease (a fear), so I will get 30 minutes of exercise five times a week (a goal). Rewards based on fear do work.

I cut gluten out of my diet because of fear. I feared I would continue to live miserably with hives, welts, and painful inflammation. You can read about it in the link below.

But a much more enjoyable reward is one based on fun. Fun can mean different things to different people. To me, fun means something that brings joy, and since I’m writing this in December, the one thing that brings me joy are the festive holiday lights.

So on this dark, gloomy winter day, my goal is to write 500 words before I can turn on three sets of Christmas lights in my home. But instantly, I’m defeated. Five hundred words?

Suddenly, that sounds like a LOT of words to write. I’m reminded of how often I’ve failed before—like with the potato chips.

It’s called self-sabotaging, and I do it so much I fail to even recognize it. But that’s just another way we keep ourselves from finishing goals. Like instantly thinking your goal isn’t attainable.

So…CHANGE IT, change the goal. Cut it in half, or more if you need to, make it attainable! For me, that means I’ll chop my goal down to 50 words, then light up one set of lights…write 50 more, turn on more lights, etc.

Sounds trivial? Hear me out.

I’ve now typed over way my goal of 50 words

What’s that you say? It’s not anything special, just another blog post? Now you’re getting personal. Not for me, but for you. Because when you set your own goals and rewards, they don’t have to be earth-shattering or life-changing.

They’re YOUR goals: YOU make the rules.

So what’s your goal and reward for today? You choose.

Then cut it in half.

NOW you’re ready to go for it!

And to prove it’s possible, here are my 500 800 words!

Excuse me while I go enjoy my pretty lights…

Hives aren’t pretty…

I once went to my annual checkup only to have the doctor ready to call authorities because of all the bruises she’d found under my clothing. I told her it was from scratching my hives. Yes, bruises from scratching myself!
She wouldn’t believe me. So I told her it wasn’t normal scratching, but the “AAAAHH! I’m going insane from this terrible itching” kind of scratching. Now, kudos to her for being so in-tuned to signs of abuse, but it really WAS the result of hives.
Hives had been an issue with me for years, I told her.
I think stress brings it on, I told her.
I take Benadryl nearly every day, I told her.
My husband actually can’t stand to watch me in such misery, I told her.

After some convincing, she finally believed me and referred me to a dermatologist. Unfortunately, poor diet and food triggers were never discussed…

A whole-wheat, whole-life kind of girl 

Fast forward many years… to two months ago: Chronic inflammation and skin issues are raging out of control and I had to do something different. I was seeing  the benefits going  gluten-free was having on a friend’s health and read countless articles regarding inflammation triggers. But how do I make such a huge lifestyle change at my age? Always a “whole wheat, whole life” kind of girl, I loved all breads but they never loved me back. Even so, I had been a “gluten-glutton” for over 5 decades (as my waist-line can prove.) The pleasant smell of homemade bread hot from the oven was all too familiar.  In fact, here in the Midwest that “deliciousness” is served at almost every meal.

To make a major change of habit, one has to make a major change in thinking. For me, that meant I needed to look at bread — and gluten —  for what it does TO me and not FOR me. 

Note to those of you who have celiac disease and can’t even tolerate a crumb of gluten without severe intestinal side effects: My heart goes out to you. Thankfully I only have a sensitivity to wheat. A sensitivity means your symptoms come in the form of abdominal pain, reflux, gas, nausea, diarrhea or constipation. Life’s little annoyances, right? Along with that, you may also have other symptoms, like fatigue, joint pain, brain fog, stuffy head, and even bouts of depression due to gluten. I realized I’d been dealing with “all of the above” all my life.  Do you think you might have a sensitivity to gluten? Read  The Fourteen Most Common Signs of Gluten Intolerance.

Meanwhile, my dear (falsely accused) husband is eating almost anything without a problem. He doesn’t know why I need to make such drastic changes. After all, he’s watched me eat “normal” foods for years so why can’t I now? But after seeing the problems with inflammation progress from rosacea and hives… to eczema, dermatitis, and even some hair loss, he agrees, something HAS to change. Why NOT try gluten free, nothing else is working. Maybe the effects of eating gluten, along with other foods like milk and edible nightshades, are to blame for these visibly crazy reactions in my body. It’s time to ditch the gluten.

Fast food, gluten-free style

To make any change in habit, a replacement needs to be found for whatever is being taken away. Now fruits and veggies fill my fridge more than ever. My morning toast is now a GF cracker or oatmeal with my fav toppings. Sandwiches? Go topless and bottomless — I’m talking buns;) When my friend is ordering fast food, she asks for her sandwich meat to be wrapped in a lettuce leaf. Since that’s not always an option, ask for a fork or you’ll be picking up that hamburger and all its toppings with your fingers. I know. I tried. It wasn’t pretty!!
Some fast food restaurants do offer some gluten-free alternatives. My local sub sandwich shop doesn’t have GF bread, so I either get a salad or I order the sandwich “fix’ens” which is the meat, veggies, and toppings layered into a sandwich box.

Take a pill? No thanks

A life of chronic inflammation can eventually cause diseases and conditions including some cancers, rheumatoid arthritis, atherosclerosis, and hay fever. Since inflammation needs to be well-managed, NSAIDS are often recommended, but too much of anything isn’t good. NSAIDS are hard on your stomach. I’ve already done damage to mine by using acid-reflux medications, so for me it’s not even an option. Controlling my diet is a healthier choice.

Maybe your issues are more than just gluten…

If you’re going gluten-free to help decrease inflammation, remember there are other foods that make pain and symptoms worse. Fatty red meat, dairy, soy, and peanuts are just a few that can increase inflammation in the body. Also food additives like MSG, sugar, and aspartame. Even vegetables from the nightshade family like peppers, tomatoes, and potatoes (not sweet) are problems for some of us. So if you’re thinking about ditching gluten, don’t believe every GF product is right for you. Read the labels and make informed decisions.

 Health is a process, be patient

I still have lingering issues but things are definitely looking up.
These things take time, I know… poor health doesn’t happen overnight, good health is worth the effort. Improvement is a process that comes from patience, getting educated, and making right choices, time after time.
Sometimes I’m strong: sometimes not…but knowing the quality of my life is gradually improving keeps me going. After all, what price can we put on more quality time with family and friends?

Aa healthy life is more golden than all the rolling wheat fields in the Midwest.
So thanks, but no thanks;
I’ll pass on the bread… and the Benadryl, too.
Happy eating, happy feeling, friend!

_____________________________

Do you or someone you love live the gluten-free life? You can share what you’ve learned in the comments below.