health

Twelve Steps to Reduce Stress This Fall

All it takes for most of us is just one more thing and we're overwhelmed. We've tried to create a less complicated life but we're still stressed. Me, too. So I researched and found the twelve best ways to remove stress from your life. First, simplify…

A Simple Life is a Peaceful Life

Simplifying helped me create a more peaceful life. When I was teaching, I worked long hours, ate poorly, and had developed a toxic life.I was full of anxiety, had depression, sleeplessness, headaches and joint pain. There was no room for joy. I needed healthy habits to replace the toxic ones, so I did yoga, learned meditation, and increased my walking and journaling. I retired early. I decluttered my home and donated hundreds of items to charity. I saw a therapist for my anxiety. I ate more vegetables and gave up gluten to reduce my headaches and joint pain. I saw a doctor about sleep apnea and got a machine to help me breathe and sleep better. I followed the serenity prayer~ I let go.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

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For me, stress created illness. Illness is the body's way of telling us to slow down, forgive, or even let go and move on. Here are more steps to help you de-stress.

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Twelve Step to Reduce Stress in Your Mind and Your Home:

  1. Make your health a priority. Is there a doctor's appointment or test you need? Schedule it.
  2. Cancel an Activity. Find one thing on your calendar you can do without. Cross it out.
  3. Start Your Day With Rituals: Keep routines that keep you organized, or in control. Create new ones that are calming. For me, taking my dog out every morning, then returning for my morning coffee are comforting routines.
  4. Pick Your Battles: Families grow and change. Some stages are more stressful. You've set priorities but it's still not working? Sometimes that change must start with us.
  5. Reduce: It's well known that reducing clutter in your home reduces stress. Less stuff=Less to clean.
  6. Schedule Self-Calming Time: Whether it's yoga, meditation, a quiet walk, a good book or a soak in the tub, take time for what calms you. Remember how, before take-off, the stewardess tells parents to put their oxygen masks on first, then the child's? Well, self-calming time is your oxygen mask. Take a breath, relax.
  7. Watch Less: Reduce time spent looking at a screen, especially before bed. Use sound instead of visuals to help you fall asleep. A sound machine, audio book or sleep podcast is a healthier choice.
  8. Follow Less: Unfollow pages or people on social media if their posts give you stress, or just don't give you joy. You can unfollow people and still stay “friends.”
  9. Do Less: Make use of time savers offered by stores and sites. Use curb side pick up for groceries and medications; find meal planning calendars online.
  10. Spend less: If money is your greatest stress, go on a buying freeze, buy only necessities. Check out apps that help you pay down your credit card debt, like Tally, Debt Free, or Credit Card Payoff.
  11. Don't ignore the big problems. Maybe you're considering a big lifestyle change to reduce stress, like leaving a relationship, job or neighborhood. Seek a trusted friend or two to be your sounding board. True friends want to help, don't be afraid to ask. Take steps to talk to a professional, too.
  12. Focus on what you can change. Accept that there are things out of your control, and let them go.

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Conclusion

If you're stressed, it's not your fault. You may need someone to talk to, to help you get through this hard time. Remember, that's what it is: A hard time. A time that will pass. I didn't give up hope and I don't want you to, either. You ARE worth it!

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New Ways to Connect and Support

If this has helped you, please share it with a friend. Also, consider a one-time donation of $5 to “Buy me a Coffee.” Just click on the yellow banner on the right that says, “Buy Me A Coffee.” (scroll down if you're on a cell phone) You'll get a personalized Thank You from me!

What ways you have found to de-stress? Post it in the comments below, or email me at connie@positivelylifeafterfifty.com ~I may share it on my podcast!

Amazon Alexa Setup

Amazon Alexa Echo Dot next to rose petals from Mother's Day. Why? Nature makes every picture better, imho.

Easy #TechTuesday

Amazon Alexa Echo Dot Setup 

I love getting questions in one of Positively Life's Facebook group called “Tech Time, Silver Edition.” We're just having fun learning about the tech in our world, and sharing simple tips that help us live better with all our gadgets– and stay safer online. Click here to join.

Recently, Cynthia asked me how to set up her own Amazon Echo Dot. Great question! I have three of them in my home and use them every day. I’ll do a future post on all the ways to safely use an Alexa Echo, but for today let’s get that Alexa out of the box and set up -in just 10 minutes!

(Some of these step-by-step directions are in the App itself, but I included them here just so you can see what's asked during setup.) 

  1. Unbox, remove all plastic covers, connect the power cord to the device
  2. On your smart phone, go to the App Store; type echo in the search bar, click on the echo word that appears, it will take you to  the “Amazon Alexa” app. Click to download.
  3. Open the Alexa app and login. You will need to know your Amazon account login and password.  
  4. Open the Alexa App, go to Settings; click New Device. Watch my iPhone video as I walk you trough the next 4 steps.
  5. Select the device you are setting up; Amazon Echo
  6. Choose the type of device you have. (The Echo Dot is the one that looks like a hockey puck. The more expensive Echo is a tall cylinder)
  7. Choose the picture of the “generation” of Echo you have. 
  8. It will tell you to turn on your Alexa device. (Turn on the Alexa by pressing the dot on top of the device. The light ring will spin for a bit as it boots us)
  9. When the light ring turns orange, ou are now ready to connect your Echo to your WiFi. If you don’t see a spinning ring of orange, unplug your device, wait a few seconds, and plug it back in again

Connecting your Echo to Wifi: 

  1. Open up the Settings app on your iPhone, click on “WiFi”
  2. The Amazon name will appear, this is your Echo device, click on that
  3. When the device connects to your WiFi, it will begin talking to you. Follow the directions that Alexa tells you do.

Return to the  Alexa App on your phone to finish the setup by following the step-by-step directions for a more personalized experience. 

Congrats! You’ve set up your device! (If all this still seems like too much, just plug in your Alexa and let her do her thing. She'll actually help you through most of this.)

Useful Hints You'll Want to Read:

*It will take a few days for your Alexa to “smarten-up” In the beginning,  the Artificial Intelligence  (ai) is learning the sounds of your speech, so you may need to repeat, or change the wording of your request until Alexa knows what you want. 

*By adding “Skills” to your Alexa app, you will find Alexa much more useful and personalized.

*It’s hard at first to remember that you need to start EVERY command with “ALEXA” That is the word that wakes it up. 

*Best time to buy an Alexa is Amazon Prime day in July, or on Black Friday/Cyber Monday in November. 

*During set up of the Alexa app it asks you to “connect your contacts” I personally DO NOT recommend doing that. Just click the “later” button. Connecting contacts shares a great deal of information to Amazon. However, if you want to make phone calls through your Alexa, you WILL need to add your contacts as this is the only way to call people using the echo. 

If you would like to be a part of our Facebook group sharing simple and smart tech ideas and fun, click here to join.

You're also invited to our Facebook page Positively Life click here to like and follow!

Give Yourself the Gift of a Finished Goal

“If a goal is worth having, it’s worth blocking out time in your day-to-day life necessary to achieve it.” Jill Koenig, Top Goals Coach

I love setting goals, and starting goals, but lately when it comes to finishing a goal, I’m a wimp. For example, I can’t even finish one book. Not one! Blame weak eyes or my weird, sneezy reaction to a book’s pages; reading a book is no longer enjoyable. So for me, finishing one is out of the question.

But I can listen. Thanks, Audible.

This week on my walks I’m listening to one of my newest, favorite books; FINISH, Give Yourself the Gift of Done, by Jon Acuff.

I’m walking along, so engrossed in his stories, I’m not even noticing that the weather’s changed and I’ve got a snowy sleet-stuff hitting me in the face. Why? I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling that Acuff was talking directly to me. (As if I’m the only one in the world with the problem of finishing goals, right?)

But Acuff is using words and emotions I’m very familiar with, like perfectionism, failure, and self-sabotage.  And I’m realizing how much time I'm wasting on things that look like they are related to my goals, but are in fact steering me away from the real focus of my goals. I'm not taking bad things; I'm talking things that can wait or even be eliminated from my life until a goal is met. For example, most email can wait, as well as the latest news stories or social media. And I know I’m not the only one who uses household chores as an excuse to avoid working on a goal. I also know some things can't wait — like one’s own health, children, or job responsibilities. Those things demand our immediate attention, and rightly so.

But across the history of civilization, its our goals that move us forward.

Or backward.

Like potato chips.

Have you ever tried to use a little reward to help you meet your goals? Have they ever backfired? I have. Take health, for example.

Just recently it’s become apparent that I need to eliminate high sodium foods from my diet. So what’s the first thing I crave? That opened bag of potato chips my husband left in the pantry. It seems like just thinking about depriving myself of salt has triggered some weird switch in my head that says I must have those salty chips. So when it comes to food, I may need a different kind of reward.

Goal rewards are based on fun or fear.

A reward based on fear is like this: I don’t want to get heart disease (a fear), so I will get 30 minutes of exercise five times a week (a goal). Rewards based on fear do work.

I cut gluten out of my diet because of fear. I feared I would continue to live miserably with hives, welts, and painful inflammation. You can read about it in the link below.

But a much more enjoyable reward is one based on fun. Fun can mean different things to different people. To me, fun means something that brings joy, and since I’m writing this in December, the one thing that brings me joy are the festive holiday lights.

So on this dark, gloomy winter day, my goal is to write 500 words before I can turn on three sets of Christmas lights in my home. But instantly, I’m defeated. Five hundred words?

Suddenly, that sounds like a LOT of words to write. I’m reminded of how often I’ve failed before—like with the potato chips.

It's called self-sabotaging, and I do it so much I fail to even recognize it. But that's just another way we keep ourselves from finishing goals. Like instantly thinking your goal isn’t attainable.

So…CHANGE IT, change the goal. Cut it in half, or more if you need to, make it attainable! For me, that means I’ll chop my goal down to 50 words, then light up one set of lights…write 50 more, turn on more lights, etc.

Sounds trivial? Hear me out.

I’ve now typed over way my goal of 50 words

What’s that you say? It’s not anything special, just another blog post? Now you're getting personal. Not for me, but for you. Because when you set your own goals and rewards, they don’t have to be earth-shattering or life-changing.

They’re YOUR goals: YOU make the rules.

So what’s your goal and reward for today? You choose.

Then cut it in half.

NOW you’re ready to go for it!

And to prove it’s possible, here are my 500 800 words!

Excuse me while I go enjoy my pretty lights…

A Bucket List That’s Good for You -Episode 5


This episode shares motivational stories to help you create a bucket list that can change your life.
Today I take a look at the surprising history of “The Bucket List,” talk about the benefits of those travel items on your list and share some inspirational stories to help you re-create your own life-changing list.

Have you given much thought to your bucket list lately? You should; it's good for you.
A quick search and you will find the awesome things people have on their lists; from exotic destinations to simple acts of selflessness.

“The Bucket List” became a standard in American culture in 2007 when a movie of the same name was released.

Did the term “Kicking the Bucket” come from a children's game or a method of execution(!?!)

The benefits of having travel items on your bucket list include mental, physical, social and financial.

Here's a list of motivational speakers that may forever change the way you think about a bucket list:

  1. Ryan Eller, Motivational speaker and blogger, ryaneller.com “How a Bucket List Saved My Life” TEDx Tulsa
  2. Kathleen Taylor, “Rethinking the Bucket List” TEDx Tampa Bay
    Kathleen is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with 20 years experience in hospice and advanced care planning. She has a coaching and consulting practice serving the healthcare, social service, and nonprofit sectors.
  3. Edward Readiker-Henderson,  “Kill Your Bucket List” TEDx Maui talk
    Edward was an award-winning travel writer and traveled to over fifty countries and all the continents.  He is quoted as saying,”Whoever created the world went to a lot of trouble. It would be downright rude not to go out and see as much of it as possible.”

The Joy of a “Wonder List”
Maybe you think your life is just too busy even to consider taking that trip right now. Don't worry about your to-do list, or that time is running out to visit all the places you hope to see and memories you hope to make. Sometimes the best moments are unscripted.

One”wonder moment” I had on a trip with my family became a treasured memory for me, and an “I wonder” moment blessed me with a life-long friend from the other side of the world.

Mark Twain quotes:
“Don't wait; the time will never be just right.”
“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.'

**Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12