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Give Yourself the Gift of a Finished Goal

“If a goal is worth having, it’s worth blocking out time in your day-to-day life necessary to achieve it.” Jill Koenig, Top Goals Coach

I love setting goals, and starting goals, but lately when it comes to finishing a goal, I’m a wimp. For example, I can’t even finish one book. Not one! Blame weak eyes or my weird, sneezy reaction to a book’s pages; reading a book is no longer enjoyable. So for me, finishing one is out of the question.

But I can listen. Thanks, Audible.

This week on my walks I’m listening to one of my newest, favorite books; FINISH, Give Yourself the Gift of Done, by Jon Acuff.

I’m walking along, so engrossed in his stories, I’m not even noticing that the weather’s changed and I’ve got a snowy sleet-stuff hitting me in the face. Why? I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling that Acuff was talking directly to me. (As if I’m the only one in the world with the problem of finishing goals, right?)

But Acuff is using words and emotions I’m very familiar with, like perfectionism, failure, and self-sabotage.  And I’m realizing how much time I'm wasting on things that look like they are related to my goals, but are in fact steering me away from the real focus of my goals. I'm not taking bad things; I'm talking things that can wait or even be eliminated from my life until a goal is met. For example, most email can wait, as well as the latest news stories or social media. And I know I’m not the only one who uses household chores as an excuse to avoid working on a goal. I also know some things can't wait — like one’s own health, children, or job responsibilities. Those things demand our immediate attention, and rightly so.

But across the history of civilization, its our goals that move us forward.

Or backward.

Like potato chips.

Have you ever tried to use a little reward to help you meet your goals? Have they ever backfired? I have. Take health, for example.

Just recently it’s become apparent that I need to eliminate high sodium foods from my diet. So what’s the first thing I crave? That opened bag of potato chips my husband left in the pantry. It seems like just thinking about depriving myself of salt has triggered some weird switch in my head that says I must have those salty chips. So when it comes to food, I may need a different kind of reward.

Goal rewards are based on fun or fear.

A reward based on fear is like this: I don’t want to get heart disease (a fear), so I will get 30 minutes of exercise five times a week (a goal). Rewards based on fear do work.

I cut gluten out of my diet because of fear. I feared I would continue to live miserably with hives, welts, and painful inflammation. You can read about it in the link below.

But a much more enjoyable reward is one based on fun. Fun can mean different things to different people. To me, fun means something that brings joy, and since I’m writing this in December, the one thing that brings me joy are the festive holiday lights.

So on this dark, gloomy winter day, my goal is to write 500 words before I can turn on three sets of Christmas lights in my home. But instantly, I’m defeated. Five hundred words?

Suddenly, that sounds like a LOT of words to write. I’m reminded of how often I’ve failed before—like with the potato chips.

It's called self-sabotaging, and I do it so much I fail to even recognize it. But that's just another way we keep ourselves from finishing goals. Like instantly thinking your goal isn’t attainable.

So…CHANGE IT, change the goal. Cut it in half, or more if you need to, make it attainable! For me, that means I’ll chop my goal down to 50 words, then light up one set of lights…write 50 more, turn on more lights, etc.

Sounds trivial? Hear me out.

I’ve now typed over way my goal of 50 words

What’s that you say? It’s not anything special, just another blog post? Now you're getting personal. Not for me, but for you. Because when you set your own goals and rewards, they don’t have to be earth-shattering or life-changing.

They’re YOUR goals: YOU make the rules.

So what’s your goal and reward for today? You choose.

Then cut it in half.

NOW you’re ready to go for it!

And to prove it’s possible, here are my 500 800 words!

Excuse me while I go enjoy my pretty lights…

From Itching to Ditching | My change to a Gluten-Free Life

Hives aren’t pretty…

I once went to my annual checkup only to have the doctor ready to call authorities because of all the bruises she'd found under my clothing. I told her it was from scratching my hives. Yes, bruises from scratching myself!
She wouldn’t believe me. So I told her it wasn’t normal scratching, but the “AAAAHH! I’m going insane from this terrible itching” kind of scratching. Now, kudos to her for being so in-tuned to signs of abuse, but it really WAS the result of hives.
Hives had been an issue with me for years, I told her.
I think stress brings it on, I told her.
I take Benadryl nearly every day, I told her.
My husband actually can’t stand to watch me in such misery, I told her.

After some convincing, she finally believed me and referred me to a dermatologist. Unfortunately, poor diet and food triggers were never discussed…

A whole-wheat, whole-life kind of girl 

Fast forward many years… to two months ago: Chronic inflammation and skin issues are raging out of control and I had to do something different. I was seeing  the benefits going  gluten-free was having on a friend's health and read countless articles regarding inflammation triggers. But how do I make such a huge lifestyle change at my age? Always a “whole wheat, whole life” kind of girl, I loved all breads but they never loved me back. Even so, I had been a “gluten-glutton” for over 5 decades (as my waist-line can prove.) The pleasant smell of homemade bread hot from the oven was all too familiar.  In fact, here in the Midwest that “deliciousness” is served at almost every meal.

To make a major change of habit, one has to make a major change in thinking. For me, that meant I needed to look at bread — and gluten —  for what it does TO me and not FOR me. 

Note to those of you who have celiac disease and can't even tolerate a crumb of gluten without severe intestinal side effects: My heart goes out to you. Thankfully I only have a sensitivity to wheat. A sensitivity means your symptoms come in the form of abdominal pain, reflux, gas, nausea, diarrhea or constipation. Life's little annoyances, right? Along with that, you may also have other symptoms, like fatigue, joint pain, brain fog, stuffy head, and even bouts of depression due to gluten. I realized I'd been dealing with “all of the above” all my life.  Do you think you might have a sensitivity to gluten? Read  The Fourteen Most Common Signs of Gluten Intolerance.

Meanwhile, my dear (falsely accused) husband is eating almost anything without a problem. He doesn’t know why I need to make such drastic changes. After all, he's watched me eat “normal” foods for years so why can’t I now? But after seeing the problems with inflammation progress from rosacea and hives… to eczema, dermatitis, and even some hair loss, he agrees, something HAS to change. Why NOT try gluten free, nothing else is working. Maybe the effects of eating gluten, along with other foods like milk and edible nightshades, are to blame for these visibly crazy reactions in my body. It's time to ditch the gluten.

Fast food, gluten-free style

To make any change in habit, a replacement needs to be found for whatever is being taken away. Now fruits and veggies fill my fridge more than ever. My morning toast is now a GF cracker or oatmeal with my fav toppings. Sandwiches? Go topless and bottomless — I'm talking buns;) When my friend is ordering fast food, she asks for her sandwich meat to be wrapped in a lettuce leaf. Since that's not always an option, ask for a fork or you’ll be picking up that hamburger and all its toppings with your fingers. I know. I tried. It wasn't pretty!!
Some fast food restaurants do offer some gluten-free alternatives. My local sub sandwich shop doesn't have GF bread, so I either get a salad or I order the sandwich “fix'ens” which is the meat, veggies, and toppings layered into a sandwich box.

Take a pill? No thanks

A life of chronic inflammation can eventually cause diseases and conditions including some cancers, rheumatoid arthritis, atherosclerosis, and hay fever. Since inflammation needs to be well-managed, NSAIDS are often recommended, but too much of anything isn't good. NSAIDS are hard on your stomach. I've already done damage to mine by using acid-reflux medications, so for me it's not even an option. Controlling my diet is a healthier choice.

Maybe your issues are more than just gluten…

If you’re going gluten-free to help decrease inflammation, remember there are other foods that make pain and symptoms worse. Fatty red meat, dairy, soy, and peanuts are just a few that can increase inflammation in the body. Also food additives like MSG, sugar, and aspartame. Even vegetables from the nightshade family like peppers, tomatoes, and potatoes (not sweet) are problems for some of us. So if you’re thinking about ditching gluten, don’t believe every GF product is right for you. Read the labels and make informed decisions.

 Health is a process, be patient

I still have lingering issues but things are definitely looking up.
These things take time, I know… poor health doesn't happen overnight, good health is worth the effort. Improvement is a process that comes from patience, getting educated, and making right choices, time after time.
Sometimes I'm strong: sometimes not…but knowing the quality of my life is gradually improving keeps me going. After all, what price can we put on more quality time with family and friends?

Aa healthy life is more golden than all the rolling wheat fields in the Midwest.
So thanks, but no thanks;
I’ll pass on the bread… and the Benadryl, too.
Happy eating, happy feeling, friend!

_____________________________

Do you or someone you love live the gluten-free life? You can share what you've learned in the comments below.

When Perspective Outranks Attitude


Welcome to episode 8 of Positively Life After Fifty, and Day 2 in my quest to podcast for 30 days straight, in honor of the National Podcast Post Month of November.
Am I ever getting off to a rocky start! In fact, if you were able to hear my podcast yesterday, you are one in a million. In fact, you and I both know that you are already one in a million whether you listened to my podcast yesterday or not because there is no one quite like you.
My episodes will be shorter, but another reason why this show is so different is that I don't have any opening music today. I also don't have any quotes today because I am in the middle of a podcaster's biggest nightmare right now, at least it is for me. I worked on problems until 1 am and when I came back to it today, there were 20 more new bugs needing to be squashed. So today hasn't been different. Here it is almost 11 pm, and I'm still up writing this.

However, I did take some time out earlier and had dinner with a friend who is still teaching, still facing many of the same problems I used to have:As I was eating dinner with my former colleague I was listening to some of the things she is dealing with–not just in the classroom but also the committee presentations, her teenagers and also elderly parent issues. It all reminded me of a time, not very long ago, when I was still teaching. I was working 10 to 12 hour days six days a week and dealing with all those problems and more. So it kind of puts my current problems into perspective.

I also think about the news of the past months; all the shootings, fires, and floods, hurricanes, and tornadoes. I'm not trying to make light of this; it is a serious issue for so many.There are people without electricity and people who have lost loved ones. As I think about all these issues, suddenly my problems of getting my id3 tags onto my audio file and getting my media player to look not weird on my web page don't seem that big of a deal. Suddenly all those issues just don't seem important.

The work will get done, the problems will get solved or they won't, and I'll find a way to make it work somehow. What's more important is that I make time for friends, I take time for family, and I even carve out some time to take care of myself. To regain a needed sense of balance and perspective. And I'll tell myself that I'm worth it, because yes, in fact, I am one in a million.

And so are you, and so are the people you love.

And tomorrow's going to be a better day. It will.
I'll see you tomorrow. Until then keep looking up, and never give up.

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